Vidhatri's Oasis

“I am the king of the world”, I screamed at the top of my voice as I stood at the highest altitude I had ever reached in my life. I remember the hero of the movie “Titanic” screaming the same dialogue when he stood on the gigantic Titanic and looked around at the mighty sea around him. May be I shared the same feeling as his when I stood on one of the many bamboos that were fastened by ropes and firmly tied to the billboard that rested majestically on a 7 storey building. A sense of supremacy filled me as I looked down on all the ant sized people hurrying to nowhere and the miniature vehicles rushing through to catch up with life. The cauliflower sized trees seem to be presenting me a bouquet of greenery while the posh building envied me, seeing me enjoy the comfortable “risky” position I sat on. Yes risky, but I felt the risk was worth taking when I looked at the magic I created by turning the dull white painted rectangular piece to “full of life” painted billboards. While the shades I spread out on the billboard seem to speak out to every individual who glanced at them, the same shades seem to make even the “risk” factor in my work, playful.
Actors, Actresses, Villains, Comedians, Singers, Models, Directors, Producers, Products, brands, you name them and I have painted them on the billboards – my version of landscape. Every street, every highway or every road where the billboards I have painted stand are a testimony of the talent I possessed. My friends were always curious to know how I managed to see a postcard size photograph and paint an exact replica of that on a board that is thousand times larger then the snap. I just smiled back at them. But I knew how difficult it was to paint the expressions of an angry villain, a romantic hero or a beautiful heroine. This was a talent I felt proud to possess and blessed to be bestowed upon.
The “Venkateswaran Arts” office, the office where I work didn’t look the same today. I could see a lot of hustle bustle today. Everybody seems to be discussing something really serious. What happened? When I enquired the reason about this unusual atmosphere in the office, one of my colleagues pulled me out of the office and made me sit on the back seat of his bicycle and he rode towards the nearby main road. Where was he taking me? For what? I had no clue. All I could see is his worried face which was sweating profusely. He parked his bicycle near the platform of the main road and pointed his finger towards some object above. I lifted my head and looked at it and I was smiling at the new version of the billboard I was looking at. I could see a huge printed plastic sheet covering the billboard. I was so amazed at this new technology because we don’t have to paint billboard anymore. So, now any advertisement for a movie or a brand can be printed on a huge plastic sheet and just pinned on the billboard. That moment I didn’t realize the fear my colleagues were feeling because the advent of this new technology was a curse in disguise for us.
One by one I saw my colleagues who were painters like me getting laid off. No prior notice was given when they were laid off. Can’t blame my boss for that. What is the use of five painters like us when a “printed plastic sheet” can do the same job with greater quality and durability. I knew even my chance will come soon .One fine day, I found the accountant of our office settling my accounts and asking me to leave the job.
As I walked out of the office, I looked at my hands. These were the hands that possessed a skill which only few were gifted with. These were the hands that could paint any expression with ease. These were the hands which made voiceless colors; mute shades speak volumes to people who looked at them. Now the same hands have painted a big “question mark” in my life. I didn’t know where to go because I had a talent within me that had just cut me off from the only earning I had in my life.
By God’s grace I got a job of painting the walls and posters for an election campaign. I found myself painting the party’s name and their slogans for the elections. The same hands which once upon time had the liberty to play around with paints was now painting only with one shade of color filling in colors in symmetrical restricted boundary of alphabets. I looked at the alphabets I painted and realized that they were restricting my creative flow, I looked at the color I used which was stopping me from creating magic with different shades of color , in my hand I held a paint brush that brushed me away from the real me. No! I am not going to let this happen to me. I am not going to let myself surrender to circumstances. I am not going to allow fate to decide my life. I will fight. I am going to fight against circumstances, fight against fate, fight against reality and change circumstances the way I want it to be. I know it’s going to be difficult but it’s worth the fight.
With the fifty rupees I was paid for painting the lifeless alphabets, I rushed to a nearby stationary shop with a my heart echoing the words “Fight, Fight!” . I bought few A4 sheets and few colors pencil because I didn’t have the money to buy paints. I went to the famous beach in the city. This was a place where lots of people visited to beat the city’s heat. And this was the same place which I was hoping to change my fate. With the plain sheets and pencils in my hand I went to each and every one I saw in the beach and asked them “Sir, Are u interested to have your sketch drawn?” , “Madam, I can paint well .I can draw your sketch”, “Sister, I can draw your face. It’s just 50 rupees”. But, nobody seems to be interested .Everybody shooed me away, when I approached them. I was wandering in the beach for hours hoping at least somebody will be ready to have they sketch done. But no one was ready. Everybody looked at me as if I was a lunatic. Yes I am a lunatic… a lunatic who is crazy about the talent he has and is out there trying to fight against his fate.
That night I cried as my fate laughed at me. But I still could hear my heart say “Fight!Fight”. Suddenly, from no where an idea struck me. I immediately took out a plain sheet and the color pencils. I closed my eyes and tried to concentrate. I opened my eyes, took a pencil and in few minutes I managed to draw my portrait on the sheet. I rushed outside and glanced through the movie posters that were pasted on the walls. In next few minutes I found myself drawing a portrait of one of the most beautiful actress of our country just next to mine. When I was done, I looked at the final product. The complete sketch looked like a snap of mine taken while standing next to the beautiful actress. “This should work”, I thought.
Next day I hurried to the beach to catch hold of morning walkers. I saw a young guy jogging. I hurried towards him and said , “Sir, I can paint well. I can draw your face too. Look at this portrait.”, I showed the sketch I did last night. He looked at the sketch. My heart beat increased because he was the first person who cared to stop to hear what I said and I didn’t want let him go. “Can you sketch my face next to Aiyshwarya Rai’s face?”, the guy asked me with a puzzled look. “Sure, Sir. I can do that”, I responded quickly and completely excited. In next 1 hour I found a 50 rupee note in my hand given by the same guy. The first success in my struggled fight. Soon, my idea of drawing a person next to his/her favorite star became a hit. I found myself drawing n number of portraits the whole day. My hands were aching but I was enjoying the taste of my success. I was surprised when few people wanted me to draw their face with their favorite celebrity kissing them, hugging them. Their requests made me feel they were insane. But, then their insanity helped this “lunatic” to remain sane.
Soon, I found myself earning a decent amount to lead a comfortable life. I was getting popular with the regular beach goers and more popular with college groups. One such college group was so impressed with my work that they asked if I can come over for their inter collegiate fest and put up a stall and sell few of my painting. I agreed instantly. And soon I could see my creativity flow beyond the restricted boundary, coloring my life with different shades and my paint brush soon brushed away my meaningless past life.
Now I am faculty in an institute that specializes in arts and crafts. I teach students here painting, mainly painting face portraits. I was offered this job when one of the faculties of the institute saw my works in the college festival where I put up a stall. I remember my eyes were filled with tears when he offered me the job. Because the person was not offering me a job but he was offering me the liberty of recreating all the magic I did once. When I held my first salary of Rs 3500/- in my hands, I could see drops of tears falling on my hands ...the same hands which painted plethora of colorful shades of a rainbow in my stormy dark days.
Even today when I look at the portrait which I drew that night with the beautiful actress next to mine, I feel proud about myself…. Because I had won the battle against fate … Because I didn’t surrender to the circumstances … Because I am living a happy life which I had created…… Because at the end it was I who brought colorful shades in my life…Shades of self esteem … Shades of freedom..... Shades of confidence…which still makes the “lunatic” in me scream “I am the king of the world”.

When I saw your name next to mine,
In our wedding card,
I felt blessed.

When I saw you smile,
Seeing me in the traditional bride groom dress,
I felt teased.

When I held your hand,
During the marriage rituals,
I felt responsible.

When you entered my lonely bachelor life,
And changed it into a heavenly abode,
I felt lucky.

When you showed the same love as I did,
Towards my parents,
I felt proud.

When you scolded me,
For neglecting my health amidst my hectic work,
I felt pampered.

When I saw you scream,
Crying out of labor pains,
I felt helpless.

When I saw tears of happiness in your eyes,
As you looked at our kid,
I felt blessed once again.

All these feeling have bloomed in my heart,
But are yet to blossom in reality.
As these are feelings I long to feel,
For these are still unfelt.

Will you marry me?

Life is not been the same for me. It has changed for the worst. I am alone now. Totally stranded. I feel helpless when I recollect the promises we made to be there for each other, forever. I am here but where are you?
I am thinking hard, literally digging up my memory to remember at least one day we didn’t speak, at least one secret we didn’t share, at least one prank we didn’t do together or at least one moment where I felt your absence around me. But, my memory fails to bring forth even the minor possibility of them. If I am right, then how do you expect me to face the world alone where I got used to walking holding your hands, how do you expect me to take decisions now without your assurance that I am right, how do you expect me not to talk to you when I pass through difficult times. “Best” friend was too a small word to describe you because you had become my habit. A habit I am finding it miserable to make me understand that I can’t continue. A habit which I ought to leave to let me live or it would kill me out of depression.
“Mrs. Bipasha Sharma, the coveted winner of the HR person of the year. She with her brilliance and confidence has helped to bring back to life the dying company.” I smiled as I read the way the newspaper had described me. To achieve this was a herculean task for me .I had to juggle between my roles of a HR manager, a wife and a mother. Though it did stress me out sometimes, I thoroughly enjoyed it. I was very happy and immensely satisfied with the small beautiful world that I had created around me. I just couldn’t imagine myself how few years back I was under tremendous depression just because my best friend Vaishali walked out of my life. That was a past story now, an incident which from years I was trying to forget but find myself still trying.
It was just another usual working day. As I drove towards the office, I was trying to mentally surf through all the points in my To-Do list. “Aah!!! Another hectic day”, I thought to myself after I finished with the quick analyses of the work ahead for the day. After reaching the office, I hurried to my cubicle .I immediately switched on my laptop to quickly browse through all the mails. I generally had the habit of first going through all the subjects of the emails I received and then start looking at the content .So, with the same fashion I started looking at the emails. “Re: Requisition for a deal with XYZ company” , Not important , “Fwd: Introduction of awards in the maintenance sector”, Okay will see to it later, “Rise in the company growth in Q3”, Good News. “I might not be alive by the time you finish reading this mail”, Okay, “Re: Regarding….”, What ! What did I read? I didn’t understand if I read it right. So I quickly read it again “I might not be alive by the time you finish reading this mail”. What the hell! What kind of mail is this? It can’t be a forward because I never get junk mails in my official email id. Was it just a prank or was it really serious? I decided to have a look at the mail.
I opened the mail. The email id from which I received wasn’t an id I was familiar with. I guess junk mails have intruded even in my mailbox. I knew it would be a waste of time to read through it, so I was about to close it when my eyes got stuck to a word in the mail called “Best Friend”. This word took me back to those days where a person whom I had addressed like that, had all of sudden left me. I would feel my heart beat increase as I remember those days which I dreaded to remember, but always ended up thinking about them. I soon found myself reading the story.
“Hi,
“Best Friend”, is what I called her. Nikitha meant the world to me. I couldn’t imagine a life without her around. I woke up everyday with a feeling that it should be a great day and she would make sure I had one. Everything I did in my life had to have Nikitha being a part of it.
Nikitha was a very outspoken girl. Everybody in our college knew who she was. Her extrovert nature helped her make lots of friends but I knew even in the group of friends her eyes searched for my presence and when she looked at me sitting in a corner of the room, she smiled. She never asked me to sit next to her because she knew I was not comfortable among the crowd. My shy nature never allowed me to mingle with people but I had no complaints because Nikitha meant crowd to me.
“I don’t know. No more questions. You are participating in this fashion show. That’s all”, Nikitha ordered me. Past couple of days we were having an argument on this topic. I can’t imagine standing before my whole class, walking down the ramp was highly impossible. I explained all this to Nikitha, but she said “Diya, you are very beautiful. But you don’t realize that. You will look great on the ramp. And above all this is not a contest. It’s just a fashion show. Just walk and come back. That’s it. Simple.” Simple, it was to hear but highly scary to do. But, Nikitha had decided and I had no choice.
“All you have to do is walk on the ramp stand for a while, turn and come back. That’s it. And hey make sure you sari doesn’t slip and fall”, Nikitha laughed. I knew she was trying to cool me down. But it was of no use. I was already tensed up and it was my turn to walk the ramp. ”Confidence Diya, Confidence”, I had Nikitha’s words ringing in my ears .I walked on the ramp with hundreds of people looking at me. I didn’t know why Nikitha is making me do this but I didn’t want to disappoint her. She had put lots of efforts to bring perfection in me and I didn’t want to mess it up. I managed to walk till the end of the ramp, smile at the crowd, turn around and walk back and stand next to the participants on the dais. It’s over, at last.
Now I knew why she made me participate in the fashion show as I hung the telephone. I just received a call from a famous film production offering me a heroine’s role. They told me they had seen me in the fashion show and were highly impressed. I rushed immediately to Nikitha’s house fuming with anger.
“Lights, Camera, action”, the director screamed. I looked into Nikitha’s eyes .She was standing besides the camera. I would see her eyes were gleaming with confidence, a confidence that I can do it. Her confidence in me gave me courage I found myself telling my first dialogue for the movie with flawless perfection. “Cut, Excellent Diya”, the director cried out. I ran and hugged Nikitha. I wept. I cried out of gratitude for all things she had done for me. She had spent days and nights trying to convince me and unknowing instilling confidence in me to make me realize that I could do. It was only because of the confidence of Nikitha in me that I decided to take up the offer which now I was thoroughly enjoying. “Thank you, Nikitha. Thank you so much. I did it .I did it at last. I couldn’t do this without you, Bipasha.”, I told her as I wept.
I started slowly enjoying the stardom. Soon there was talk in the film industry, that a new found talent has arrived, Vaishali. I was happy to read my name in magazines and newspapers. My first movie was a huge hit and “Vaishali” became a household name. I enjoyed the spotlight and all the attention I received. The cameras clicked flashing endless light on me. I enjoyed each flash that fell on me .Slowly I started becoming famous with my movies been declared a hit in the box office. I was flooded with awards. Year after year I was becoming more famous and rich. I was enjoying all the fame, money and attention I received. Men were wooing me while the women watched me keenly to imitate my style. I smiled at my success and took pride in declaring myself as a “self-made” woman forgetting that there was a person who was the sole reason for my present existence amidst fame and money.
Years passed by and I still had success falling on my feet. But amidst this fame I started feeing lonely. I wanted a companion and soon I decided to get married. I got married to one of my co-stars. The first year was like a beautiful fairy tale, where the beautiful princess had met her prince at last. Happiness was all around me but that soon became tired of living with me. I could see the marriage slipping away from my hands as everyday we ended up arguing about silly things. Silly things turned to be serious things. He didn’t seem to understand me at all. I was disturbed, really disturbed. Finally, I decided I couldn’t take it any more and we got divorced.
I am single and alone again. Now, as I walked by, I could feel the camera flashes tearing me apart, the looks of people trying to burn me into ashes. I wanted to run away from the spotlight. My money laughed at me as I couldn’t buy happiness for myself. I could feel the men’s stares piercing through my body and women’s laughs on my bad marriage kept ringing in my ears. I wanted to run away from all this but my stardom pulled me back and forced me to glare at the flash lights which were making me blind. “Why did you leave me alone, Bipasha”, I cried.
Bipasha, I want to bring back our old days. I want to become the shy girl again sitting in the end of the room looking at you speaking to a group of people. I want you to again understand me better than what I do. I want my “best friend” again in my life. I want your presence to become a habit again. I want to start again the habit of holding your hand as I face the world, I want to start again the habit of taking decision with your assurance that I am right, I just want to start them all over again. I left this habit long back because I was blinded by things around me whose presence I felt more important then. Now their presence is killing me, Bipasha. Don’t worry I am still surviving through this hell , but take me away from this place before I die out of depression. Please take me away as I desperately want to resume my habit of feeling your presence in my life”

Tears rolled down my cheeks as I read the story. I couldn’t stop relating the incidents mentioned in the mail with the real incidents that had happened between Vaishali and me. Half way through the mail I started imagining us as the characters of the story and started reading the story with our names. “How dumb of me?”, I thought. But, the last words of the story were still ringing in my ears “I left this habit long back because I was blinded by things around me whose presence I felt more important then. Now their presence is killing me, Bipasha.” Bipasha!!! Did I read Bipasha as the name of the character and I looked at the story again.
It was then I realized that I was not fantasizing the characters as us, but the characters were really us. I wasn’t visualizing the names of characters as mine and Vaishali’s, but the writer has purposely changed the names half way through of the story because the writer was none other than Vaishali, my “best-friend”.

The first day I saw you I was enthralled by your beauty. I thanked God for choosing me to be the one for you. Never knew that I was so lucky, if not you wouldn’t have come into my life. I could see my life slowly changing. Your presence made me feel so comfortable and very happy. I wondered what mystical powers you had within you that made sure even while I was walking through the roughest paths of my life, you walked along with me with so much ease and made me feel as if I was walking through a bed of roses .I know you noticed the pride on my face when I introduced you to my friends. Why not, you have been the reason for my unique identify.

Every thought, every emotion, every move, every moment I could feel your presence around me. Sometimes may be I took your presence for granted .I remember instances when I used to burden you with all my problems but even then you never complained. I sometimes used to be so happy that I danced around and you made sure you enjoyed my happiness by dancing along with me. We went round and round the room dancing with the jarring music around us. You moved so graciously with each step of mine that I didn’t want to stop dancing along with you. With the same grace you danced your way into my heart from the first day I saw you, but till now never have you tried to make me dance to your tunes. I loved that about you because you always respected my decisions.

I am really happy now. I want to dance around. But why are you not ready to dance with me? Why do you refuse now? I know that past few days I have really burdened you with lots of problems. I just forced it on you leaving you with no choice. I know I shouldn’t have done what I did yesterday with you. I shouldn’t have hit you. But, I was so angry, so frustrated with life. In that madness I didn’t know what I was doing. I couldn’t show my frustration in my office. So when I came back home, I showed it on you. I know nowadays I am taking you for granted but maybe I got this feeling because I assumed that your presence will always be there around me. I never thought about you but always thought about myself because I just assumed that no matter what, you will be there for me. I am sorry. Please don’t get annoyed. You’re precious to me. Don’t leave me alone. You aren’t even ready to let me mend it up. Oh dear!!! Can I get a better slipper than you?

Life has always been good to me and sometimes it showered so much goodness on me that I find it difficult to handle and I end up doing the wrong things at the right time. When I start complaining about it, Life has only one thing to say “Why did you mess it up?”. What Life said was also valid because I always surprised myself as to how I could excel in mastering the art of “messing-up” situations and I just got better as I grew older.
I did my schooling in a boy’s school. Being in a boy’s school was fun in its own way. But, it got boring sometimes when you don’t have the existence of people around you , whom you could address as “beautiful”, ”pretty” and ”gorgeous”. But, I didn’t have to wait long for that. No, my school was not changed to co-education, but I got a glimpse of “the beautiful”,”the pretty” and “the gorgeous”.
It was our first day in Physics lab. My friends and I weren’t in the slightest mood to hear anything. We were busy looking around the lab and the “exotic” instruments that didn’t make sense to us. Just then my friend sitting beside me, poked me with his pencil and asked me to look at the window. I couldn’t believe what I saw. I opened my eyes wide in amazement. I could see the students of the adjacent school sitting in their classes. I knew there was a school next to ours, but never knew we shared a common boundary wall. I looked at the students sitting there. No. Let me be frank. Let me rephrase the line. I looked at girls sitting there. I eagerly looked around my class to inform others too. But, more than half the class was already looking at the window.
My friends and I had decided to take a closer look at the celebrities, the girls. So, one of the physics lab sessions, we slowly moved towards the end of the physics lab. We had to enter a small room, in order to reach the end of the lab and of course to make sure we don’t get caught by our teacher. We entered the room, but where was the window?. Oh! Then we realized the curtains had covered them. I immediately opened them. We were frozen looking at the “beautiful”,”pretty”,”gorgeous” sight. Suddenly, an idea struck me and I pulled my friends down. ”Won’t it be really cheap of us to look at them like this? Let us do one thing. We will pretend to do some experiment and look at them, so that they don’t suspect”, I told them. “Brilliant idea”, I could hear my heart tell my brain. We stood up and took the “telescope like” instrument from the table and placed it on the table near the window. We posed as if we were looking through the “telescope like” instrument and admired the beauty before us. Seeing this, the girls started giggling. None of us knew why they were doing so. But we continued, not only that day but even after that.
One fine day in the Physics class, our Physics teacher as usual brought an instrument to demonstrate something. This time it was the same instrument we used to look at the girls. We felt a sense of possessiveness when we looked at it, because it somehow belonged to us. My teacher started explaining about the instrument. When the Physics class got over, we friends sat there in shock and I could see all of them giving me a cold stare. We pledged never to look at the girls through the window, because it was only then we realized that the “telescope-like” instrument was an instrument to look at objects in the “dark” and we day after day tried to look at girls in “daylight”. Now, I understood why the girls were giggling. Next Physics lab, we found ourselves far away from the window.
School days had its own share of pranks, but done with innocence. But in college I had to be more careful because now I was a grown up boy. But, as I mentioned earlier things just got better as I grew old.
College days were full of flop shows where I tried to do something and it ended up being just the opposite. For instance, on my first day in college like a typical ragging situation I was told to propose to a girl and I with all sincerity went and proposed a girl who ended up being the sweeper of the building. How could I know that we had well dressed sweeper in my college on my very first day of college itself? Then, once during my second year in the process of impressing the junior girls I did all the “heroic” stunts on my bike and once I could sense the junior girls were impressed, I parked my vehicle and walked by them. Just then I could hear the security guy of my college screaming at me at his top of his voice, “Are u gone nuts to park your bike in the basketball court? Just remove your bike right now”. I didn’t even dare to look at the girls. I just vanished from that place with my bike in seconds. I hoped that was my final day in college and I don’t see those girls again. But, I had to face those sarcastic smiles for the next three years.
Flop shows like these were common with me during my college days, but now as a working professional I had be careful that I don’t repeat these flop shows now. But, few things just seem to love to stay with me.
We all know that amidst our project work, the forward mails we receive act as a prefect stress busters. But in my case one such forward mail instead of releasing my stress, it just added on to it. Can’t blame me! The mail came with a subject reading “Whom do u think is more beautiful?”. So, I opened the mail with lots of curiosity to see who were featured in the “beautiful” group. After having a quick glance at all the snaps, I decided to take the judge’s seat and give my decision as to who is the most beautiful amongst them with all the experience I had gathered in my 23 years of existence in this world. As I scrolled down, I looked at each of the beautiful ladies and trying to do some mental calculations to help me give my decision, but by the time I scrolled till the end of the page I was confused. I scrolled up and down again to look at the photos again, but still couldn’t decide. “Once your Design Analysis is done, can we start the meeting?”, I heard my PM speak from behind. My heart beat increased as I looked around and saw my PM standing right behind me and looking at me and my computer screen. It was then I remembered I had my appraisal scheduled that time and I had forgotten about it. “Well.. Actually… I…. Kind off .. Forgot…”, this was what I heard myself reply. As I followed him to the conference room for my appraisal expecting the worst to come, I realized what he meant by “design analysis”. My analysis of the photos to decide who was beautiful was no less than a “design analysis”.
What happened during the next one hour in my appraisal meeting, as they say is history. But, I desperately wanted to wear a mask during the meeting, because I was so embarrassed to face him. But, few things in life are just unavoidable. Sometimes, I wonder if I continue this way of messing up situations, I will soon be awarded with the Best “Messed-Up” Act. There again I won’t be surprised if in the excitement of collecting my award I walk up straight on the dais towards the anchor of the show while the person ready to give my award is standing right on the other extreme side of the dais.
Can’t help it !!! Few people are just born with Messed up Excellence.

Now this was frustrating. Working at unacceptable timing and having stressful long hours seems to be a never ending saga in my life. 1, 2, 3 at night ... oops early morning seems to become my very common working schedule. There seems to be no so-called “personal” life in my “always work and no play” life. Everything had its saturation level, so did my patience too. And one fine day I decided that I am not letting people exploit me this way, so I just left my office by 5.00PM without informing anybody.
I took my bike and headed straight to the beach near my office because I needed a place where I could sit and spend some time with myself.
I sat in the beach, watching the waves going up and down. "Look! Even the work done by these waves is monotonous, going up-down, front -back, just like me doing the same kind of work from past 1 year." But, the waves at least give happiness to all who come here. But in my case it’s just the opposite, I am not happy, people at my place are not happy because I hardly meet them, my friends are not happy because I am unable to contact them. Who is happy? I was happy when I saw the appointment letter in my mailbox, I was happy on the first day of my work, I was happy when I threw a party to my friends for getting placed in the best company, I was happy when I saw a tear in my mother’s eyes when I told her that I got a job because she knew I was good but never knew I was very good to get into the top company. But now, all that looked to me like “Once upon a time” story.
As I kept asking myself endless questions, I looked around the beach. I noticed a bunch of kids playing around. But everybody was looking up. Why? .To find out, I too looked up. Oh! They were looking at the kite. Immediately I looked down. Then, I understood. Among the kids, there was one kid who was flying a kite and others were watching the kite fly with the wind. Each kid took turns to fly the kite. They all looked so happy. Totally lost in their own world of happiness. I could see the pride in each of the kid’s face as they looked at their kite flying very high. Lucky kids! Away from all the worries, happily in their own world of enjoyment.
I kept looking at those kids, enjoying myself seeing them enjoy. The kids were cheering as they saw the kite dancing with the breeze. I kept gazing at them, as I didn’t want to miss their happy expression.Suddenly a strong wind blew. I immediately closed my eyes, to make sure the sand didn’t go inside my eyes. I slowly opened my eyes. I looked back at the kids to continue admiring them. Though I saw the kids standing there gazing the sky, I could see a shade of sadness in their face. I immediately looked up and understood the reason. The thread extended to the kite got cut because of the strong wind and it was on its way down. I looked back at the kids. They all with heavy hearts were looking at the kite taking a dive straight into the water. “God, why don’t you let at least these kids enjoy. Anyways you have been very unfair to me, but why the kids? “, I thought looking at the sky.
I looked back at the kids. I saw them discussing something and walking away from the shore. May be they are going back to their house. Suddenly, one of the kids ran out towards an object lying on the beach. I looked at the object, it was a dry coconut. What was so interesting about it? He called the other kids too. They all ran towards him. All rounded up the object and started discussing. I had no clue what they were discussing. After their discussion, the kids spread out a little bit, leaving two kids near the dry coconut. What are they up to? One of the kids screamed and the two kids in the center started kicking the ball and others too joined them. Wow, they are playing Football. It was awesome way to turn the dry coconut into a football. I could see the same happiness return in the kids faces, which I saw while they flew the kite. I saw them happily screaming and running about the place, trying to kick the ball toward the ‘so- called” goal post. Their energy made me unknowingly cheer them. But, Hold on!!!, I could see a faint resemblance between the kids and me. What was it???
I thought hard …. Really hard. Suddenly, I could see in the air, all the pieces of the Jigsaw puzzle, falling in the right place and helping me see a clearer picture. I opened my eyes wide with amazement. Immediately, I closed my eyes trying to concentrate on the thought that answered my question of the unknowing resemblance the kids and I shared.
I watched the kids in admiration, with my eyes going moist as my thoughts flowed like the waves before me. The kids could have played anywhere, but they chose the beach to the play. They very well knew that though the breeze helped them to fly the kite high, a strong wind would be enough to cut their kite. But still, with all their strength and patience they flew the kite high in the sky, really high. The pleasant breeze that was blowing helped them to fly their kite even better and of course bringing smiles on their faces. At last even when the strong wind cut the kite, shattering their hard work, they still found happiness in a small object that was just scattered around them.
I could have worked in any field I liked, but I chose to work in this particular field. It was my decision. I very well knew that the opportunities that lay before me would take my aspirations to great heights, but this couldn’t come easy. I knew very well, the amount of time the work would demand that will come as a hard blow on my face making me devoid of my personal pleasures. I knew all this very well, but still I got frustrated when I had to face it. In this frustration of losing all my life’s happiness, I walked by all the happiness that always existed around me but went unnoticed because they were scattered.
As I looked at the sunset engulfing us into darkness, I felt a dawn of realization enlighten me. There I could see among the scattered, the happiness of working hard to fulfill my aspirations, the happiness of toiling whole night surprising me with my hidden stamina, the happiness of handling the pressure now to let me handle upcoming pressure with ease, the happiness of getting used to hard life even amidst luxury, the happiness of having a hot cup of tea enjoying the chillness of night, the happiness of getting pampered by my girlfriend when she calls and asks “did you have your dinner? Try to leave home fast? Don’t strain too much? Take care!” , the happiness to see the city getting ready for the day’s business , the happiness of ….. There were so many things around me that were giving me immense happiness, but I ignored them just because they were scattered. My frustration overshadowed all these happiness around me, which if I had realized earlier would have overshadowed my frustration now. Happiness like a loyal friend followed me everywhere; letting me look around for it.
I smiled at the kids with gratitude. I drove back to office determined that before my happiness is shattered; I will find them in the scattered!!!